i felt trapped, and i didnt know why. every shoot, i left feeling as though i failed, as though i wasn’t adding up, i wasn’t good enough. i had these poses in my mind, shots i desperately wanted in my portfolio yet i could never seem to produce them… as well as others had. and there in lies the problem. rather than allowing myself to be inspired by the couple i was shooting or the scenery i was in i was constantly attempting to create what others were inspired to create. i had lost all trust in the creativity God had given me and became completely consumed by what others were doing and how they were doing it. and i felt trapped.
the feeling didn’t stop at my photos either. as a new photographer i find myself working on a website, pricing structure and marketing plan, all of which seem to not match up to those i follow. and the feelings of entrapment paralyzed me.
i read trevor dayley photography’s post titled pinterest is ruining me today and it was me he seemed to be writing about. i took in his every word as he spoke and couldn’t help but feel incredibly vulnerable as he called out my every weakness. i decided on sunday to stop looking at others work, stop comparing myself to those more experienced than me and start letting myself be inspired by what i love, not what others love. and his post confirmed my decision while giving me practical steps to putting my decision into action.
while i fight the feelings i have of insecurity and questions of whether others will approve of what i do i’m excited to allow myself the freedom to be who i am and produce the work that is true to me. i’m ready to be inspired by life and can’t wait for what’s to come!
check out this sign i found on the streets of seattle this past weekend! i love it:)